THE PARENTS OF TODAY AND PARENTAL CARE.
Before I begin my story, I would genuinely want to acknowledge Jane Kamwithu who is a fourth year student at a government university in Meru county [the Meru University of Science and Technology], who sent me a mail on my google account(nelliuskims@gmail.com) after reading several of my stories and asked me to write about parents and their love to children.
When this word parental care is mentioned, whatever runs in the minds of many people is parents. To the contrary, parental care means, taking care of someone (a child) whether you are the parent, guardian or a relative. As we all know everyone needs to be cared for, given that parental love, belong to a place so as to feel at ease and a welcomed member of the world. Especially for the children they need to be shown love and be treated well.
Like in this case, we have children who do not have parents but still need parental care. They want to be loved and feel as if they are having their own parents. In an incident where a man is married, unfortunately the wife divorces the man leaving behind a very young daughter/son who is like three months old. Despite the parents having separated, this kid still needs to have some care. Anyone else can give the parental care to the kid as well as parental guidance.
Anyone who is giving parental care to a child should always learn to be friendly to the kid.
Especially to the women who are known to be the most important to the upbringing of a child, they should learn to be polite to the child so as for the child to always feel comfortable.
A child who was not brought up by his/her own parents, could at times seem to have low self-esteem or have a not very good type of personality called the counter active personality. To avoid this negative attitude in a child, the particular person offering the parental care should always make sure that he/she treats the child in the best way possible as if the kid was his/her own.
In cases where a second wife is married, if she meets another woman’s child in the homestead, she should try to treat the kid well so as to create a mutual understanding/relationship with the child so as to give space for mental maturity. Some children who are brought up by step-mothers always seem to lack something in their life. At times they are treated in a very cruel manner and tend to even feel lonely. Nevertheless, some other children live with their step-mothers but are still given the best treatment every child could want from a parent.
Some step-mothers at least give the children a chance to share their stories that could be disturbing them. This is what is required to everyone offering parental care. This makes the children so close to the parent making the kid develop a high self-esteem.
Some parents are very harsh to their children. They do not give them any parental care and even guidance as much as they may need. This is why we find many kids looming in the streets today. They are so desperate and have no places they call their home, they have no parents to take care of them, although it is so sad that some of the lazy parents in towns today are using their own children as ‘street begging tools’ . In the African traditions, all kids were guided by anyone who was a parent, that means, all children belonged to all parents and not their biological parents. Today everything has really changed.
Today there are several children homes such as Saving Our Souls(SOS) children’s home, Ripples International among others that have been started to take up the parental guidance role instead of it being every parent for every child and every child for every parent, as it was in the world B.C, A.D and recently in the African world of early 1990s.These homes have played a very big and important role in offering the parental care. They have housed the homeless kids such as the orphans and been able to take care of them. There are people in these homes who take good care of these children despite them not being their own. Children are always a blessing and that is why they need to be cared for.
Therefore, it could be a good strategy if our Kenyan government came up with various ideas and setting up measures to help the homeless and hopeless children get the parental care all the children need. This could even bring more unity and love amongst all people.
Questions will always run through my mind and the minds of many other Kenyans on why the government is selective. We have the National Council of Persons living with Disability (NCPWD), to sort out the disabled in the country, Ministry of Youths, Sports and Gender to sort out youths, men and women of the country and we even have National Hospital Insurance Fund (NHIF), to sort out hospital issues for the citizens, among others but not even a single small part of the government that is set aside to be the home of the homeless children, father to the fatherless. Does this mean that this country does not appreciate the vulnerable children?
By Nelly K
qobiqom School of spiritual Engeneering. 